fuzzylobsters' Journal
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Sunday, November 29, 2009
Writing exercises continue - and actual writing! I've posted a smidge over at my Deviant Art account. I'll link to it eventually from here, I'm thinking. I have a bit of a strategy to hopefully secure some readership.
Hanging out at my SweetieFruit's, my usual perch on the swooning couch. Watching the Wiz on my Fruit's cable, as I've never gotten to see it before. I note that the "danger!" music in the subway is similar, with baying horns, to the original Star Trek "danger!" music, tee hee. However we will be leaving for the gym shortly so again, I will be missing the Wiz. Foo. OH, fun sets! Oh my, the costurmes, they're hitting the emerald city. Great camera on legs! Hmm, the lighting is a bit murky in this, that's a bit annoying.
As mentioned, cable. My Sweetie has it, I do not, so it's an enticing novelty. The channel is usually LOGO or Animal Planet. Last night was a documentary on a comedian, oh gee, what was the name. My fruit supplies the documentary name - thanks Plummy! "Ebony Chunky Love" - and I found the name Keith Prince by googling that. And I like Prince's stuff, rather. But I'm gonna latch on something to complain about. ;)
He said at one point "Bisexual - you know that's on the way to gay".
And heck, this ticks me off. Guess I've been on the way since I was, uh 12 or so when I applied that term to myself. 27 years later it seems like I"m taking the scenic route to gay. :D
Very scenic! Especially as "bi" isn't at all adequate. There's way more than two genders, or physical sexes, that I happen to be attracted to. Multi-sexual seems closer to me, and that's what I seem to have shifted to. That's another thing in Mr. Prince's statement, the implied superiority of one fixed sexual orientation, that irks me a heck of a lot. Foo.
Current music: Evilina's theme, "Don't Bring me No Bad News"
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Writing exercises continue! Here goes... Happy day off, to those who have one. :)
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Yes, well I hope I remember how. At my brother's, indulging in an unusual fit of chefery. Cooking's fun, on occasion, and when I don't have to do it.
The (free-range) turkey is already smelling good, or at least the stock, wine and savory vegetables are giving off alluring fumes. And I'm about to research possible uses for the celery root I bought at the Lincoln Square greenmarket. Some of the leaves are among the veggies loosely stuffed in the bird's interior, in lieu of celery per se. Sure hope that substitution, and the others I'm contemplating, doesn't come back to bite me in the poultry-butt.!
`K, back to business. Putting on some Grateful Dead, I heard them via my brother's record collection in my youth, and of course nostalgia is part and parcel of this Thanksgiving business. Playing the original albums with short-format songs, not endless noodling of their concerts, because that would be enraging, not a relaxing sing-along. The "American Beauty" album seems appropriate, in an ironic way (of course).
Bread stuffing ahoy! I'd say back to the Imperialism Day preparations but, uh, maybe that's a better term for Columbus Day. Oh what am I saying, every day is Imperialism Day!!
Current mood: Enjoying kitchen witching Current music: Ripple
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
On with the writing exercises! This is fun so far! I kinda don't mind talking about myself and this is not dissimilar.
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Prayer pt. 2 - Pelted by prayer
Thinking about the bit in the previous post, well, I sort of hope that prayer doesn't work. Surely I'd be dead by now what with various people of faith ardently wishing that upon me. Or possibly worse, I'd no longer be a sinner. Foo on that!
Certainly I'd be confused and possibly torn asunder. Even if no one is petitioning her/his/hir deity to change my personal specific sinning ways, there's enough folks out there sending out more general wishes towards those they feel are unenlightened, and of course they're urging quite a variety of agendas. Thus the confusion and pain, under the brunt of requests to deities pelting me from many directions.
Huh. Maybe those who succumb to mental illnesses are particularly susceptible to the power of prayer. Other people's, anyway. It's just too much, perhaps, for their - our - systems, being smacked around by the focused intent of so many different people. I'd like to think I'm not susceptible to something so irrational, but hey, clinically depressed here! With possibly the occasional manic-ish interlude. So, perhaps.
[I need another word for prayer!]
Current mood: melancholy whimsy
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Well, to hopefully relieve my nerves about my writing and its quality, I think I'll try posting a couple of minimally-edited paragraphs. Essays definitely, maybe fiction. Ever so once in a while. Target daily, though I'm not stressing that in my mind lest I then feel a need to sabotage it.
Prayer - I guess it probably couldn't hurt
With the aid of a pastor who taught me a lot about critical thinking, I concluded in my youth that Christianity didn't have a heck of a lot to offer me, or women in general. Said Pastor Luben, a really nifty person I thought, conceded that you have to take a leap of faith and I thought that's flinging myself into - what? A wholly men-dominated cosmos. As someone raised casually Protestant, there wasn't even a female saint or the Virgin Mary to latch onto onto. So I entered into a mini quest of a sort, researching religions for a while. I suppose my mother dying somewhen around then factored into all this, though I was resolutely Not Thinking About That. I ended up sort of smugly agnostic, reaching the conclusion that I'm too smart to be at all certain about any of this spiritual stuff.
I retain that conclusion, really. But an image from a novel by Robert Anton Wilson eventually stuck with me. I forget which book, maybe Shrodinger's Cat. The scene was a traffic accident, and Wilson picked out people stuck in the ensuing traffic jam. One who's so glad it wasn't her, another who's relieved to have an excuse for being late, and a whole bunch of people who are impatiently fretting, just wanting to move pass the obstacle. One person, a devout Christian who dedicates a lot of time to stomping down other people's rights, prays for the person trapped in the car. A beam of energy, generated through faith but actually emanating entirely from said Christian herself, bounces off the sky and to the victim and keeps that person's heart beating for a few crucial minutes.
That, and happening upon a study that indicated that seriously ill, randomly chosen sick people in hospital did rather better if people who did not know the patients prayed for them to recover, without their knowledge. This was regardless of the specific religion or faiths of any people involved. I came to think - well, I think perhaps the human mind is a lot more powerful than is generally supposed. It seems to me likely that any divinity that can be observed results from folks tapping into that. So, yeah, I do pray on some occasions. Unless I'm very very wrong, it can only help.
Current mood:  nervous Current music: Selections from the Dead Parrot Society
`K, I've got these fanfiction things. Mostly Sam and Max. Some Fregg, one new Lietro tribute to a comic I like a bunch, "Against All Odds".
And I've been working on some of them on and off for more than a year and I'm very afraid to post them because I have labored over them and therefore they count. So if no one likes them - or only dim sounding people like them - it will be rather a blow.
Not like most of my performances, frankly, which tend to be slapdash and therefore it's a pleasant surprise when they work out well. I exaggerate there, perhaps, but a) there's some effort here with the writing and b) unlike a performance, there's no deadline. I have just kept tweaking until giving up. Repeatedly.
Plus c) most of them reveal me as a serious perv. Now, this is something I pride myself on, mostly, but while blushing. I kind of have a `most anything is OK if it's done well' way of thinking. Generally meaning well crafted and also cognizant of real-life issues connected to whatever the kink and scenario is. But what if my stories aren't good enough? What if I'm not politically aware enough, and/or unable to get my awareness across in writing? Not that Issues should dictate my fantasy life in the least - but should effect my rendition of it for others, I think. Therefore my breathing is tight and hands shakey.
On the fourth hand, d) maybe hardly anyone will notice, should I post. Which will be disappointing. But safe.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Yes, perhaps I'm reading too much mediocre slash fanfiction. However, it has me wondering - does anyone actually cry out their co-canoodler's name (or someone else's name, for that matter) when coming? Anecdotes, observations, empirical evidence, anybody?
Current mood: incredulous Current music: "I'm Tender", Little Junior Parker (on Pandora)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Ugh: My sweetie-plum had the TV on a `Real Life' MTV show about young people who are struggling with being bi. Oh, the stupid, wrenchingly stupid drama.
Yay: I ordered a copy to have on hand to lend out, and found that there's a new edition of The Ethical Slut!
Uh...: The first edition had a cover that was just ugly. The new one's cover I find both ugly and sort of scary. Hopefully the contents will be as gorgeous and useful as the art is not...
Yipee: TV channel changed to Sponge Bob!
Current mood:  good but rushed
Monday, August 31, 2009
The sunset over the sand dunes is lovely - but I must stop watching and hustle on out of here if I'm to get to see
at 8pm:
www.zoelewis.com/ [warning - sound clip]
and to compete at 10pm in Ryan Landry's:
Showgirls!
$500 lolly for the latter - wish me luck!
===================
2am update -
Zoe Lewis as ever, fun, smart, quaint, tuneful!
Showgirls - gall, gall, bitter wormwoods! I didn't expect to win, really, but I didn't even make the finalist lineup. *pouts*
I did molest Margaret Cho with a squeaky lobster, however.
Current music: "the sneak" and "crazy", the tracks for my `lobster dance' !
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Well, no, actually I'll feel someone stabbing me in the face.
That's what I'm tempted to say at the dentist's. I've been spoiled, I think, by a cavity-free interlude that seemed to correlate with my getting cleanings/check ups quarterly, and haven't had to endure the anesthetic injection process recently. I have rather vulnerable teeth, it seems, so that's unusual for me. I probably have more filling than home-grown tooth at this juncture.
Well, happened to miss my last cleaning, during my two city sex tour. That's back in March. I never did reschedule, not until August... and I'm paying for my folly. Lo, the wages of lust: Two root canals.
Or rather, the wages of not re-scheduling promptly, as I very much doubt getting off decayed my teeth per se. Sigh. There is no way I could afford this without dental insurance, which I have, for a miracle. The last time I needed multiple crowns was in the 90's and I was only somewhat employed and I knew I couldn't have insurance because I kept the books. But I could do some stripping/lap dancing part time. Then Giuliani's administration closed that joint (the Harmony Burlesque), alas. Fortunately I'd earned some gold and put it in my molars by then!
Back to sleep, not that the codeine-laced-Tylenol seems to be having a soporific effect that I can tell. I must acknowledge my oral surgeon's skill today - I don't recall a more neutral experience while having a sharp object pierce my gum!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Nothing cancerous looking in the areas they looked at, yay!
Current music: Rockin' Blues, Chris Montez (on pandora, bless it)
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
No, literally.
Well, metaphorically, it is kind of fun, as I usually find it, to slide in and out of a big torus. Viz:
But heat-specific: this is the third time I can recall having one of these things and each time, warmth spread, emanating from the place where I'm punctured, the iodine oozing up the veins of my arm.
Then, abruptly, there's been heat in my labia. Then this last scan, oddly, my earlobes warmed up as well. I don't recall if that happened the last couple times. I do recall that flush of hot to my loins. I didn't come this time, alas.
Tomorrow I see the radiation-type way expert MD to be told what, if anything, has decided to grow at an indecorous pace lately. It's damn, wrenchingly, blessedly nice to have health insurance.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
On May 31st, unfortunately I do not get to see this, about one of the authors I admire most, though I don't always find his stuff easy to read. You wouldn't know Delaney's mostly written science fiction by the film description, hmm. I got to meet him as a guest to a summer class I took some years ago at NYU with José Esteban Muñoz (catching up on all the college credit I lost while being cronically depressed.) Damn he was hot. May 31 | 7 pm
Screening of The Polymath
2007, USA, video, color, sound, 75 min.
Union Docs | 322 Union Avenue | Brooklyn, NY 11211
Follow Samuel Delany (author of The Motion of Light in Water) to a literary conference where his books are compared to Joyce and Melville, then accompany him on a cheerful, row-by-row tour of a typical porn theater. Fred Barney Taylor's The Polymath includes home movies of Delany's middle-class Harlem childhood, a crazy art film he directed in the early 70s, and priceless trivia, like the fact that he wrote two issues of Wonder Woman for DC Comics in which she abandoned her superpowers and became a feminist secret agent. Post-event discussion w/ filmmakers. $5 donation. Reservations suggested. Email bodega@uniondocs.org for details. But, yay, because I intend to see this at WOW, 59-61 East 4th street, East village NYC ! Tragic Magic
Sunday, May 31, 2009
8pm, $15 suggested
Silas Howard, Glenn Marla, and Heather Acs.
This motley crew traverses through a multi-media world of string theory, face masturbation, Hollywood & loopholes in the American dream.
Current music: "In Time", Sly and the Family Stone, via Pandora.com
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
My aunt Nancy died this past winter. My father's older sister, and his only surviving sibling. They weren't close - not since she moved out of their childhood home in 195something, actually, he said. I mentioned that I thought that he might feel a lot more alone in the universe, now, and he did look a bit saddened, when I said it. Today's his birthday and thus another reminder of death... yes, I will bring chocolate home with me tonight.
( the family curse )
But I was appointed the archive-prep person. Aunt Nancy retained a number of items of her New England ancestors, and in particular, her father's, who was a cornetist and librarian for John Philip Sousa. A minor figure of American music, and a bit like me, you might say that he was famous among those who knew of him. However, Grandfather was in just about the most respectable line of showbusiness. Unlike me. :D
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Way back in August of `08, there was a Rent Party at WOW, and I obliged with a little lipsinc and striptease. A queered up, safer sex Mae West, to the tune of "They call me Sister Honky Tonk".
The thoroughly talented Stacie Joy was there taking photos, viz:
and more!
Current mood: proud, also tense
Sunday, April 12, 2009
OR maybe you're not. If you, as I, have skipped the Easter Parade this year. I'm a sort of freelance pagan, and being wished a happy Easter by well-meaning paraders is irritating, but this is an opportunity to see some nifty costuming, and be seen. A bit sad at the lack, but not a huge matter, especially as my brother made waffles.
My best pal Christian, the instigator of my attending in the first place, has gone abroad, so I didn't bother. It had been our custom for, gee, I don't know, like a decade, to go to the Easter Parade on Fifth Avenue, NYC. This is not an actual parade, it's a few blocks barred from traffic so that people can mill about in their finest haberdashery. And I've sported some pretty snappy specimens of headgear, if I do say so myself - viz, my icon, one Easter with my trusty feathery effluence, sideburns, and my seersucker suit.
Here is some of the alleged background of the Parade. It leaves out another factor I've read of - class rivalry. The cream of society may've been showing off the latest fashions, but after a while the seamstresses and milliners and servants decided to flaunt their own versions, and lo, the bonnets grew more and more elaborate...
Somewhere along the line, perhaps in the 60s when hats became a non-necessity, some went in artsy, silly, and bizarre directions. Which brings me to a now-common Bonnet material - Peeps.
And, 155 other Peeps related links. I particularly like the ones with Science!
http://www.unlikelywords.com/2009/04/02/marshmallow-peeps-on-the-internet-a-study/
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I have a bunch of LJ entries I've been composing mentally, but haven't done posted a thing... Well, heck with performance anxiety, so what if I'm not-so-entertaining, perhaps. If you're bored, yer bored, you will of course skim or skip, dear reader. So, why worry too much? I tell myself. Here goes.
Actually I think I'll be copacetic with hitting my 40's.... When I do. I think. We shall see, in the event I live so long! ( The day after birthday taking stock, hmm.... )
The subject line of this post is owed to Jack Benny. Maybe I'll go enjoy some radio and video of him, in honor of turning 39!
Monday, March 16, 2009
OK, yes, I am somewhat driven by lust. To the extent that tomorrow I embark on a sort of reverse spring-break, to cold and rainy climes.
Torrid escapades may ensue in Milwaukee, with a dear former fuckbuddy, formerly of NYC, whom I haven't seen for, gee, 7 years? Ditto in Olympia, WA, with the splendid person I am calling the Duchess for lack of a better pet name. Perhaps an affectionate tag will emerge on this jaunt!
Is it a tour if I only have prospects of sex in two cities? I suppose I could cruise Seattle whilst I'm there on the evening of the 20th. Any recommendations, folks? Good sex parties? Any game at the Science Fiction museum?
Current mood:  stressed
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Hiya all - Yay! Back on the stage on Saturday March 7th, at WOW, in a number stole from usurped hijacked from inspired by my best (only) pal Christian Womyn's rendition of the Annie Lennox song, "Why". With genderfuck and messier props added. Is Lennox a diva, really? Debatable, perhaps. But the album is called that, so, what the hey. And I get to wear the big feather headdress I made as a white version of Lennox's outfit for the video, see above in my icon!
( full deets below, darlings )
Monday, January 12, 2009
Gee. and OMFGoodness. It's been some while since my last post. Hi.
I am moved to do so because my fabulous pandora.com station (programmed for early, short form funk and soul, exemplified by Sly and the Family Stone) just produced some Al Green. It was one of the songs played by the radiation techs as they zapped my lymphoma into oblivion. Full of Fire, indeed. [link to youtube clip of song]
So. Gratitude, and some wonder; for Memorial Sloan-Kettering, for music that helps get me through, for decent health insurance, for being, to my knowledge, un-afflicted by that or any other cancer, to date. For a host of things and some people also. (Oh, and slash fanfiction.) For not being/acting too debilitatingly addicted to said slash fanfiction. Mostly. Hanging in more or less at work, and I think doing pretty well with my Sweetie. I'm not near to optimal but I do feel some. Love and Happiness.
Current music: Sam & Dave, Hold On, I'm Comin'
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween is for amateurs. As I am accustomed to say, with some scorn.
However, I find myself no longer even a semi-pro. A dilettante, at best, at the pursuit of dressing-up-fancifully. I'm a bit sad about that.
Here is a picture of a anthropomorphic plum in a pumpkin costume, which I think jolly, which may cheer me up. And I might go watch the NYC Halloween Parade, as I gather there's often some ferociously creative garb, which may prove inspiring. Or may possibly inspire my shame-filled envy. Eh, I'm really not down as all that. Just mildly disappointed.
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