fuzzylobsters (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} fuzzylobsters) wrote,@ 2008-07-20 02:56:00 |
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| Current location: | plummin with my plummy! |
| Entry tags: | creative endeavor, fan fiction, fanfic, fregg, nick frost, paul, scripts, simon pegg, slash, very extrapolated fanfic, writing |
pieces of Pieces of Paul part 4 of... [very extrapolated fregg fanfic]
Title Pieces of Paul, part 4 of ?
Combos: implied Clive/Graham, and eventually, not yet, Clive/Graham/Paul V.
Rating: PG, due to cussin', innuendo, inadvertent American jive, and peril
Disclaimer: This story is for entertainment purposes only, the creative endeavor, thoughts, emotions, actions or orientations of any real persons mentioned are totally made up, here. Darned if I know what these persons are concocting for reals, in any case they and/or the production company own, at the least, the title, character names, and scenario.
Word Count: 700ish, this bit.
Summary: early drafts of scenes from Simon and Nick's next movie, "Paul" !?!
Warnings: Probably overdid the Britishisms, consarn it. Please let me know.
As previously mentioned,
These scenes were allegedly retrieved from a well-nigh fried laptop brought into a small North London repair shop, and leaked to the internet by the unscrupulous repair technician. Tsk.
part 2
part 3
[part one, an outline, you can find if you try, but I'm not sure that you should.]
==============
Nick Frost as Clive
Simon Pegg as Graham
==============
Interior of car, moments later. Just at the end of sunset outside. Still South Dakota.
The sound system is still playing Mika's "Lollipop" DJ Scientist mix. [1, actually imagine this not quite as fast. Link is to youtube for the soundtrack]
==============
Graham - (over the music) What the FUCK was that?!!
Clive - Er, taking the mickey?
Graham- I didn't know what he was about to whip out, but whatever it was, I knew I wasn't going to like it!
Clive - (waving a scrap of paper) Thought I might have it off with the Sheriff's wife.
Graham - speechlessly aghast and agape.
Clive - Her number was on the shithouse wall!
Graham- W... Would you turn that OFF!
Clive does, at the line in the childish voice "I went walking with my Mamma one day"
Clive - Cloying, innit. The bit with the horns at the end, though is Fucking Undeniable.
Graham - Brilliant, yeh. Were you trying to get us Killed?
Clive - No chance. He's going down the truckstop, we find a phone and proposition the probably bored and neglected missus.
Graham - He just slagged us off, why would he be going to this theoretical truckstop?
Clive - Alright, he's just off for a wank over tragically lost opportunities. There's a phone, pull over!
Graham - No!
Clive - (commandingly) Graham.
Graham does start to pull over, exasperated, pulling to the left as he would in the UK.
Clive - (grabbing the wheel) To the right, you silly cock!
Graham - You're about to make an obscene phone call to the Sheriff's wife, and you're worried about a traffic violation?
Clive in answer pulls them together and kisses his cheek just by the corner of his mouth, then slaps on the music again while getting out of the car and heading over to the public phone, located by a closed for the evening luncheonette.
Graham - (Shouting over the music, at his back) Lovely. Fucking wonderful! (looking around frantically) Look for a nice fence to be tied to and beaten with while you're at it! [2] And I have to wee!
Clive at the phone tapping in the digits
Graham peers up and down the road, seeing no one, and slips out of the car, hoping to be inconspicuous.
Clive - Uhm, do you happen to be married to the Sheriff of Police, ma'am?
Graham moves into the shadow of the luncheonette and begins to unzip, but thinks better of it, and turns back to the car. The gas station owner is standing between him and it, backlit, shotgun leaning over his shoulder.
Graham - wah! (or something to that effect, jumping back and bumping into the dumpster)
The station owner just stands there for a moment.
"cause love only gets you down!"
Clive appears at the other end of the car, holding the glasses case [3] as if it is a gun, leveling it at the station owner. He clearly has the drop on the other man, if indeed it was a gun, which it isn't but he's doing a fairly convincing job of putting it over. The streetlamp light glints off the metal. Graham's is horrified as he realizes the ruse but manages not to blurt anything out.)
Clive - Excuse me sir!
The station owner blinks but is otherwise pretty much deadpan.
Clive - You will kindly put that down, slowly!
The horns start up on the lollipop final choruses
Graham - (attempting bravado) Why the politesse, Clive?! You, have the motherfucking drop on this, this...
Station owner Stellalenni [4] - This stuffed animal? (slowly bringing out Paul the Bear, very much the worse for wear)
Graham and Clive gape.
Graham - ... that's... mine?
The very end of the song: "Whoa-oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh lollipop!"
Station owner Stellalenni - (nodding ever so slightly towards Clive) nice, uh, metal cylinder you have there.
================
They are driving in dark countryside, Clive at the wheel, Graham trying to safety pin the detached arm of Paul the Bear back on.
Clive - She had written it there herself, actually.
Graham - No shit.
Clive - "Sheriff's wife is very bored and will possibly engage in wanton sexual acts, call 605- 555 - 3699, no messages please."
Graham - Not your typical graffiti phrasing, is it?
Clive - I was favorably impressed, yeh. She wasn't best pleased that I'd covered it up!
Graham - Chivalry is obsolete, I keep telling you, man.
Clive - Well, the only other caller had been twelve, so she did forgive me.
(They drive in silence for a few moments.)
Graham - I would've suggested an online ad or something.
Clive - I did, yeh.
Graham - So why aren't you being possibly wantoned on while I cower in hiding from the local lawman?
Clive - Oh, he probably knows.
Graham - Possibly, but I'm damned glad you didn't risk it.
Clive - She's gonna call my cell.
(a silent moment)
Graham - Not really.
Clive - No, not really. Well yes, but I expect we'll be out of range.
=====================================
[1] Mika's "Lollipop", this remix , DJ Scientist, is a bit too fast, but it's the best fit I've found.
[2] as in the attack in Laramie, Wyoming, on Matthew Shepard.
[3] The metal glasses case something like this, but less shiny, and no pattern:
[4] Gas Station owner's name Stellalenni combines the names of the gas station owners in the film Gasoline (Italian: Benzina), a 2001 film about a young, gas station owning lesbian couple on the run.
===================================
Humane critiques are heartily invited, thanks!
part 2
part 3
[part one, an outline, you can find if you try, but I'm not sure that you should.]
==============
Nick Frost as Clive
Simon Pegg as Graham
==============
Interior of car, moments later. Just at the end of sunset outside. Still South Dakota.
The sound system is still playing Mika's "Lollipop" DJ Scientist mix. [1, actually imagine this not quite as fast. Link is to youtube for the soundtrack]
==============
Graham - (over the music) What the FUCK was that?!!
Clive - Er, taking the mickey?
Graham- I didn't know what he was about to whip out, but whatever it was, I knew I wasn't going to like it!
Clive - (waving a scrap of paper) Thought I might have it off with the Sheriff's wife.
Graham - speechlessly aghast and agape.
Clive - Her number was on the shithouse wall!
Graham- W... Would you turn that OFF!
Clive does, at the line in the childish voice "I went walking with my Mamma one day"
Clive - Cloying, innit. The bit with the horns at the end, though is Fucking Undeniable.
Graham - Brilliant, yeh. Were you trying to get us Killed?
Clive - No chance. He's going down the truckstop, we find a phone and proposition the probably bored and neglected missus.
Graham - He just slagged us off, why would he be going to this theoretical truckstop?
Clive - Alright, he's just off for a wank over tragically lost opportunities. There's a phone, pull over!
Graham - No!
Clive - (commandingly) Graham.
Graham does start to pull over, exasperated, pulling to the left as he would in the UK.
Clive - (grabbing the wheel) To the right, you silly cock!
Graham - You're about to make an obscene phone call to the Sheriff's wife, and you're worried about a traffic violation?
Clive in answer pulls them together and kisses his cheek just by the corner of his mouth, then slaps on the music again while getting out of the car and heading over to the public phone, located by a closed for the evening luncheonette.
Graham - (Shouting over the music, at his back) Lovely. Fucking wonderful! (looking around frantically) Look for a nice fence to be tied to and beaten with while you're at it! [2] And I have to wee!
Clive at the phone tapping in the digits
Graham peers up and down the road, seeing no one, and slips out of the car, hoping to be inconspicuous.
Clive - Uhm, do you happen to be married to the Sheriff of Police, ma'am?
Graham moves into the shadow of the luncheonette and begins to unzip, but thinks better of it, and turns back to the car. The gas station owner is standing between him and it, backlit, shotgun leaning over his shoulder.
Graham - wah! (or something to that effect, jumping back and bumping into the dumpster)
The station owner just stands there for a moment.
"cause love only gets you down!"
Clive appears at the other end of the car, holding the glasses case [3] as if it is a gun, leveling it at the station owner. He clearly has the drop on the other man, if indeed it was a gun, which it isn't but he's doing a fairly convincing job of putting it over. The streetlamp light glints off the metal. Graham's is horrified as he realizes the ruse but manages not to blurt anything out.)
Clive - Excuse me sir!
The station owner blinks but is otherwise pretty much deadpan.
Clive - You will kindly put that down, slowly!
The horns start up on the lollipop final choruses
Graham - (attempting bravado) Why the politesse, Clive?! You, have the motherfucking drop on this, this...
Station owner Stellalenni [4] - This stuffed animal? (slowly bringing out Paul the Bear, very much the worse for wear)
Graham and Clive gape.
Graham - ... that's... mine?
The very end of the song: "Whoa-oh oh, whoa oh oh whoa oh oh lollipop!"
Station owner Stellalenni - (nodding ever so slightly towards Clive) nice, uh, metal cylinder you have there.
================
They are driving in dark countryside, Clive at the wheel, Graham trying to safety pin the detached arm of Paul the Bear back on.
Clive - She had written it there herself, actually.
Graham - No shit.
Clive - "Sheriff's wife is very bored and will possibly engage in wanton sexual acts, call 605- 555 - 3699, no messages please."
Graham - Not your typical graffiti phrasing, is it?
Clive - I was favorably impressed, yeh. She wasn't best pleased that I'd covered it up!
Graham - Chivalry is obsolete, I keep telling you, man.
Clive - Well, the only other caller had been twelve, so she did forgive me.
(They drive in silence for a few moments.)
Graham - I would've suggested an online ad or something.
Clive - I did, yeh.
Graham - So why aren't you being possibly wantoned on while I cower in hiding from the local lawman?
Clive - Oh, he probably knows.
Graham - Possibly, but I'm damned glad you didn't risk it.
Clive - She's gonna call my cell.
(a silent moment)
Graham - Not really.
Clive - No, not really. Well yes, but I expect we'll be out of range.
=====================================
[1] Mika's "Lollipop", this remix , DJ Scientist, is a bit too fast, but it's the best fit I've found.
[2] as in the attack in Laramie, Wyoming, on Matthew Shepard.
[3] The metal glasses case something like this, but less shiny, and no pattern:
[4] Gas Station owner's name Stellalenni combines the names of the gas station owners in the film Gasoline (Italian: Benzina), a 2001 film about a young, gas station owning lesbian couple on the run.
===================================
Humane critiques are heartily invited, thanks!
